So if you have been reading my blog, then you know the situation with my husband and I. We’ve been together for 10 years and I haven’t been happy with him for the past 3. 😒 Well guess what I got manic and finally did it tonite? “I FLIPPING LEFT”! Idk what I’m gonna do or how I’m going to do it but dang it I’m gonna figure it out. I cannot and will not live like this anymore.
Am I scared? Hell yea I am, for way more reasons than 1. But he can take that big house on 3.5 acres and stick it up his ass!! I will not continue to be around toxic people. It takes every bit of energy I have to keep myself and my children alive and well. At this point I would rather stress about getting and keeping a job then stay there for the rest of my life and not have to work.
Half of everything is mine and I don’t even want it. I just want out. I’m sick to death of having to live in a house with a person that I don’t even wanna talk to. The problem is that I change my mind 1000 times a day about everything in my life, so I never really know what is real or fake with how I feel………
Do I wanna stay or do I wanna go?
I wanna go.
Well it could be worse, maybe I should stay.
I’m not in love and he sucks the life out of me, I can’t do this.
He’s a good provider and father I should stay for the kids.
No the kids don’t need to think it’s okay to live unhappy.
I MEAN WHAT IN THE HELL???😣😲🤤😫😤😭😨😡😱😬😩😞😯
Something has changed though because even threw the fog of this bipolar raging manic depressive battlefield in my mind, I have stopped doubting myself and trying not listen to the voices in my head! I am going to stand up and take control of my life the best I can.
I’m pretty sure my future holds some really up, down, sideways and all in between days. And that’s okay because all I can do is take 1 minute at a time as they come. Please keep me in your prayers and I’ll do my best to keep posting.
The reason I breath are up at the top ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️
1st pic…. my 6 and 4 year old
2nd pic my 18 year old